The sovereign of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland whose subject I am, has allowed the ancient protocol of walking backwards when leaving the room after seeing her, to be dropped. Apparently "royal aides", mindful of "health and safety issues" have said that somebody might get hurt and then sue Buckingham Palace for damages.
In days gone by, suing the Sovereign would have got you damaged quite a lot more but one doesn't need to return to absolute monarchy to see that this ludicrous kow-towing to 'Elfin Safety makes a laughing-stock of the Queen's constitutional role. The passport I am carrying says proudly in the front:
Her Britannic Majesty's Principal Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs requests and requires in the name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary.
That doesn't fill me with much confidence if Her Majesty can't even request and require people to walk out of the room backwards because the Health and Safety advisers won't let her.
Apparently the Marshal of the Diplomatic Corps, and the Queen's equerry will still be walking backwards and: Their successors will also be expected to learn to walk backwards safely and discreetly when leaving the monarch's presence.
They will be "expected to learn" will they? Come on, let's admit it, there will be a Training Day in "Safe Reverse Ambulation", led by a Qualified Facilitator who has at least an MA in "Human Polydirectional Movement" studies.
See: Royal tradition takes a backward step as the Queen bows to 'health and safety' concerns
In another crazy moment of idiocy the Prince of Wales, Charles handed a CBE to Robert Plant... from the Monarchist Initiative
Robert Plant was honoured as a CBE by Prince Charles in a ceremony at Buckingham Palace last Friday, letting the former Led Zeppelin singer finally one-up guitarist Jimmy Page.
While Page is a member of the Order of the British Empire, Plant now outranks him with his new title of Commander of the British Empire.
Led Zeppelin have not played together since their one-off O2 Arena gig in December 2007. Though Page had tried to reunite the group for a tour with bassist John Paul Jones and drummer Jason Bonham, the late John Bonham's son, Plant declined to join them.
Asked if a Led Zeppelin reunion may still be on the horizon, Plant pretended to be hard of hearing. "Sometimes I go a bit deaf in either ear, especially when people are talking nonsense," he said.
I dunno, but does Robert Plant look a bit scuzzy? Maybe he should have gone home and bathed before meeting with the next King of England. Hey if Charles doesn't mind maybe we should just call him Chucky.
It is sad that even Plant dresses better than many people do to go to Mass in the United States.